things that happen when i cook

because i can browse the internet and all of my cookbooks all day long, designing a dream-meal, but executing it…that’s another story…here’s how it typically goes.

  1. i think, “this is going to be great!”
  2. and it’s going to be easy, and i’m going to look like this:
  3. but i really end up looking something like this:
  4. and i realize 1/2 way through that i’m missing a key ingredient…eeek!
  5. so i substitute with something random
  6. i’m so stressed….i thought this was going to go great and it’s all going to shit
  7. where’s my pan??????!!!!!! where’s my fucking spatula???!!!
  8. and now i’m fighting with my husband…
  9. but i remember i need him to do something for me…. (extremely selfish)
  10. sweetie, will you run downstairs and get the mixer and then head to the store and pick up this list of things? pleeeaaasseeee!!!!???? help me. because, 
  11. oh, and when you get home if you could sweep the drive, clean the gutters and vacuum, that’d be great! because, 
  12. it’s an hour to go time and everything is coming together…oh yeah…
  13. i jump in shower with my curlers in because i’ve been sweating like a hoss…i hop out, throw on my robe, and start mopping the floor and plating appetizers at the same time…
  14. shit, so-and-so just pulled up!!! they always show up early!!!!
  15. i rush back to the bedroom and speed through my getting ready routine…how am i gonna pull this together?!!!!!
  16. whew!!!! ready!!! i walk out like a boss…dinner is served!Image result for sopranos cigar gif

9 thoughts on “things that happen when i cook

    1. we usually need an excuse not to call for pizza! 😉 our local pizza-stop employees (eh em Antonio’s on West Lawrence) finish our sentences for us LOL!!


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