mom confessions #4

because i don’t know what i’m doing and i can’t afford therapy…

  1. i’m totally messing up my kids. my daughter has this habit of asking weird questions whenever we lay down for bed or a nap. on more than one occasion she has asked me what my biggest fears are, and i’ve told her. straight up. because my kids are kids, not idiots, i can’t lie to them or bull shit them. i just can’t. so i told her about the time i came home from preschool and went to the bathroom only to find a rat in the toilet. and i told her about my fear of sharks, and well, she’s very familiar with my fear of clutter. so ya, now she’s afraid of rats and sharks and clutter too. fml.
  2. i need to lighten up, but i can’t. (thanks mom and dad). it’s funny because i am what i am, right? i mean, my parents made me this way. they’re the ones who forced me to make my bed every morning, fold the laundry, put the clothes away, put the shoes away, empty the dishwasher, take out the trash and clean the house every weekend. they’re the ones who made me do all the homework and set the table and bla bla bla. so it’s only natural that i have these expectations of my kids. except now when my parents see me doing and saying all of the things they used to do and say, they have this look of pity and almost disapproval. and i know what they’re thinking. they’re thinking i should lighten up. and i want to throw my hands in the air and say “you created me!!!!” “you’re the one who made me do all the things!!!” “i’m this way because of YOU!!!!” (lol)
  3. i lost it on my kid this morning. morning ruins day. it certainly didn’t help that i was awakened by my husband at the crack of dawn with a, “sarah, the cops are knocking on the front door.” ….okay…let me roll out of bed and answer it. my car had been broken into and the door left ajar, the police were on the trail of the assailant and wanted to let us know the status of my vehicle. all well and good, but sweet jesus it was early. so when my daughter woke up with an attitude for no good reason, i lost it. i took away her electronics, her dolls and told her she had to eat hot lunch because i wasn’t going to waste my time preparing a cold lunch if she was going to treat me like shit. well, she started crying and my husband came down on me. “you’re too hard on her,” he says. “you literally just took away everything she has,” he says. great. thanks. that helps. let me go downstairs and just kill myself. i ironed my shirt and stewed over what an ass-hole he is and came upstairs to tell him i didn’t appreciate his judgement. then i made cold lunch for my kid. just whatever.
  4. i’m on a serious spanish rice kick. ya know, you get on kicks. well i’ve been making spanish rice every week for the last month or more. i have the BEST recipe. it’s just hands down the most amazing rice. made some sundayย night in fact, and i’ve eaten huge portions for lunch and dinner ever since. thank you. (pats self on back)
  5. little baby cans of cinnamon rolls save my life every day. i’m not really a breakfast person, so getting in the habit of preparing something for my kids to eat in the morning was a challenge. pillsbury cinnamon rolls to the rescue. preheat the oven and they’re ready in 8 minutes. hot, fresh and ready. hot people! it’s tiny a miracle. i send my kids to school with a belly full of warm breakfast cupcakes everyday. yay!

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